December 30, 2010
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Let the decrapping begin!
Excepting the day when all the decorations are up, the day I start to take it all down is the best. I need air, space. And if I am in need, I know that Ed is about to combust. And so it begins today. The tree will stay decorated until next week.
A few updates…
We sold our business property the week before Christmas, and the bank accepted an offer of compromise for the difference (substantial) between what we owe them and the selling price. This means that they will not come after us for anything that is owed since we turned over all assets, auctioned off (the bank did this) all the equipment, etc. This is a relief in ways financial and psychological. Painful, to have it all go… so easy to sink into “what the fuck happened?!”
But.
Like a septic limb, amputation is the only solution.
I am grateful that this chapter of our lives has ended.
We are in negotiation for a home loan modification, two years into default and three months into modification process and we are “still in the application pipeline… you’ll receive documents soon.” Nothing ever arrives. But I’ve stopped living my life as though it’s all going to blow up at any moment. Two years of doing that, and now in hindsight I see the waste. Waste of time, waste of energy. Worry is waste, though it is unavoidable (at least for me). So we continue to live, the girls continue to grow (correction to my previous entry, the girls are 11 and 8… almost 9… I am the mother of the year, dontcha know), the seasons flow and so it goes.
Again, grateful.
Looking forward to the new year. That is the best thing I’ve found about having lost so much, just about anything remotely positive that follows is just fabulous.
Thank you for the warm welcome back. I have missed this part of myself and have noted the difference in my psyche as a result of not having a room of my own. I have missed you all, and the awareness of what goes on in your worlds. I no longer have protected posts, and will be archiving the past 8 years as soon as I can find space somewhere to save it. My oldest is now internet savvy and I feel an obligation to respect her sensibilities and mine. My intention is for her to read my blog in its entirety (if she wishes) but not yet.
Peaceful blessings.
Comments (17)
It’s good to see you writing again. And here is a toast to a rejuvenating and revitalizing 2011 for you and yours.
It’s so good to have you back
. Maybe it’s just me but I see 2010 as both the lowest point and the turning point, even if it’s not very apparent just yet. I feel like 2011 is going to progressively improve… even if stability is the only improvement, for now.
(((Hugs)))
Hi Jenny, it’s great to see you back! I wish you and your family smiles, laughter and good health for 2011. Much love. <3
i lost everything quickly once & in hindsight found it was extremely liberating & my life would not have been anywhere near as interesting so i figure everything happens for a resaon altho we do not see it right away & worry is dead energy for sure i pray you have a blessed 2011 you are a trooper jg blessings beck
Peaceful blessings for the New Year.
I know how bittersweet it is to sell the business. Your so sad to see the dream to, but glad to not be under the thumb of it anymore. Prayers are being answered and y’all are coming out of it, a little scarred and bruised but a survivor and still together. Love you, Jen!!
New beginnings~new year. God Bless you all
was sure there was a more updated post, but must be wrong.
hope this year brings you lots of joy!
Oh, its so much brighter in here. I’m glad you’re breathing Jenny
<3
So glad to see you, Jenny <3
Right back at you beautiful. Miss and love you. xo
hope all is well there
So glad to see you back! Although I must admit…I only logged on to Xanga to see if I could find out how you did the photo awhile back…cropping one picture into three and framing it. I’ll message you on Facebook, as I’m not sure how often you log on here.
Thanks and best wishes for a wonderful 2011!
I miss Xanga too, and always manage to come back when my *Xanga* friends haven’t been around, lol.. In months.
There’s meager time for sporadic musings anymore. And with children gaining their internet savvy – yes. Totally understand, and it’s not such a bad idea that I look through my past blogs just in case, too, lol.
Oiu…
Well it’s good to see you’ve been trecking back on the occasion. I’m trying to come back here, as well. It’s very cathartic to release here. But sometimes it’s just too raw to have out there in the Public Eye. More and more just becomes too personal, but it’s so beneficial to just lay it all out there, sometimes. Try to figure out where we are and where we need to go.
Hope it isn’t too long before we see you again, hon.
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I thought of you today….wondering how you are doing. Blessings!